Two Years Later...

It's been almost two years since my last post. Two years...I can't even think about what I was like two years ago. I can't even think about what I am like today. All I know is it doesn't feel like two years... It feels longer. 

Reading these old posts made me yearn for a time long ago, for people from the past and the relationships I had formed with them. I thought of my time at Best Buy with Dan the Jewish Man or the nights I used to run to Vicky whenever I had a Mac Book crisis and she would hack software for me. I would just sit there scarred shitless; I had this fear that at any moment Federal Marshall's wouldn't bust into her parents home and put us in jail for stealing shit off the internet. 

That was a long time ago... some of the people I mentioned in those old blogs, well... I can't even remember what they looked like. Like my schoolmate Prince or NYC Marcos. It makes me wonder whether in two years I will look back... again... and not be able to remember what the people in my life now look like. 

I can't keep any promises, this I've learned the hard way, so I won't even try to promise that I will be posting frequently but most of all I won't be promising that I will be posting anything interesting. But for now, I am back, I am back to remembering the smaller things in my life, the days where I could appreciate the smaller milestones. The simple day to days... We will both see new things... we will see the new people in my life. 

This past weekend in ten minutes:

-The LA AIDS Walk was on Sunday and it was like an Ingrid Michaelson song: The beauty of it and the root cause can't be correctly identified nor described. There were over 30, ooo people. I saw people from all walks of life.  There were groups of people, many were holding banners or wearing t-shirts that said things like "In memory of..." or "Team so and so". Andrew and I were so exhausted but because CBS had a team we knew we couldn't leave, as Andrew put it "The last thing we need is for Chad to fire us because we bounced early and the CBS team didn't see us." The CBS team eventually passed by, Andrew and I made signs that said "Go Team CBS" and we hung them from the JACK tent. The team came by in Blue shirts and when they saw Andrew and I they went insane. It was amazing. A woman on the team came up to me and she handed me two shirts, the same blue shirts that they were wearing. For the first time in a long time I was proud of the company I worked for and for the first time in a long time I felt like I belonged to JACK again. 

-I was looking through one of the cameras at work and I came across some pictures of the Bustache. The pictures showed some damage to the bus. Being the nosy person that I am I called Angie who had the Bustache out on an event earlier that day. She said that Alan was driving the bus through a park and in maneuvering it through trees the side mirror hit a low branch. Two days prior Alan was in a work vehicle and was hit by a fire truck making it his second accident. Angie then told me that Alan said, "This must be my Yecenia week". I thought that was fucking hilarious because about a month ago I had two "mishaps" with some work vehicles in a matter of one week. I sent Alan a text and I told him not to worry, from experience things would be okay. He sent me back this... "cool thanks. i'm glad I had someone like you to help me get through my yecenia week" I thought about who helped me through my yecenia week and only one though came into my mind... Sarah sitting on a sidewalk for three hours waiting with me for the Bustache to get towed. 

- On Sunday Around 8pm I get a txt message from my mother. Now keep in mind this is a woman who has never quite mastered the simplicity of an email; I constantly have to write and send her emails. So receiving a txt from her is always amazing to me. I guess she learned (the hard way) that neither I nor my brother like to answer our cell phones but we will more than gladly answer all our txt messages within a matter of seconds. Thinking about it now... my mom somehow, on her own, learned to txt so that she could get her kids to talk to her. Anyways, the text message said "Where are u daughter u been gon all day?".  I responded with "Hi mom! I worked from 630a to 5. So now I am at the coffee shop doing hw. I'll be home soon. Dont worry." She responded with "Ok I cook pineapple cake". At that moment standing amongst a crowd of 300 people, waiting for Tegan & Sara to play, I wanted nothing more but to be at home. I didn't care about the pineapple upside-down cake (my favorite), all I wanted to do was sit with my mom and listen to her tell me about her day. 

-When I eventually did get home, almost around midnight, she was still up and the first thing she told me as I walked through the door reeking of smoke and alcohol was, "You study too much, I was worried, why are you home so late?." I couldn't look at her in the face when I said, "I'm sorry, I was studying near work". She sort of just dismissed what I said and then she looked at me and very proudly announced "I went to church today". 

Broken Promises, Broken Engagements, and Borat.

-I received a mesage from Robi on myspace. I was suppose to go out with her a couple of Sunday's ago. I was a slave to my school work...It is times like those that I wish I could just quit. I'm hoping we will play this weekend...She always has something to smart to say...Or something mean...Depending on which kind of Robi your out with. Robi wears a Fanny pack, it brown with Asian characters. I hate the Fanny pack with a passion. But I'd rather have a Robi with a Fanny pack than no robi at all.

-I still haven't put up my Halloween pictures nor have I sent them to the people I promised I would send. It's almost another holiday, so I don't want to get too far behind.

-There are a bunch of new hires at work due to the upcoming holiday season. One day a new hire, was using the computer in my dept. To clock in, so I went over to say hi but instead I said, "You have an old lady's face." She looked at me a little concern and asked, me what I mean by that. I told her that something about her features reminded me of an old lady. I then asked her how old she was, she's nineteen but I told her that she looked way older. My co-worker, Karyna, was standing by listening to this whole conversation and decided she would attempt to help me from the grave I was digging myself into. So, she told the new girl, "What she means is you have classical features...from like the I Love Lucy times. That's when I said, "You look like Ethel!"

-Dan works in my department. He's tall, he's funny, and we share the similar tastes in music. Oh and he's Jewish. Because I was raised Catholic and have little communication with Jewish people, I always bombard him with tons of questions that deal with anything Jewish. One particular day I had a ton of questions about Jewish boys. My primary concern was if I were to marry a Jewish boy could I raise one child Jewish and the other Catholic or do I have to choose one religion over the other...And if I do raise half of them catholic and the other Jewish, are the non-Jewish ones allowed in the Temples. This is when Dan asked me if I was secretly trying to profess my love for him.

-Dan was recently separated from his long time girlfriend. He got dumped. So he's been on a sort of pussy-run. One particular day he was telling me about one particular date. When I asked where did he meet the new girl he said, JDate. JDate is an online dating community for Jewish people...I asked him if it's strictly for Jewish people or can anyone join. He said anyone can join...This is my jdate number 107969316...If you're Jewish, hot, highly rich, you can reach me there! Or you can do a search of 5 miles within 90723 zip, ages 20-25 and I'll be there too. According to Dan (who totally made my jdate page)...I am a Jdate pimp. Woot...Woot!

-One day Dan told me how upset he was that I was constantly getting e-mails from Jdate potentials...So he decided he and I should get married. I told him yes! I proceeded to invite people from work to our wedding...Some people were totally excited that I was getting married. When they asked who it was they were kind of disappointed...I don't know if it was because it was Dan or if it was because they realized, like I did, that it wouldn't last.

-Dan and I broke of our engagement this past weekend he said he couldn't take the fact that I made fun of his big Jewish nose. Dan's nose broke up our engagement!

-The same weekend Dan comes up to me and asks me if I know about my reputation. I told him I did not. Dan said I have a the reputation of the "meanest girl" in wireless. I was sort of excited. Karyna was standing by and proceeded to support this new reputation of mine by telling Dan about my incident with the new hire. Dan started laughing hysterically. I told Karyna that I tell Dan his Jewish nose is so big that it has it's own zip-code all the time and he doesn't go around honoring me as the meanest person in wireless. Dan stopped laughing.

-My friend Nancy is sort of a wanker. She's always getting mad at me because she swears... I take her friends. Eventhough we've both have known them for the same amount of time. It drives her up the wall when I call them my bff's...She's sort of possessive like that. Nancy if from El Salvador...I've learned to accept that minor flaw in her. Nancy takes pictures of EVERYTHING!!!

-My friend Vicky is the Godmother of the Hackers. There is nothing the great Vickster can't do...she's been my savor numerous times. Her powers sometimes scare me. She's also fucken hilarious...her sister, Cricket is my new BFF...sorry Nancy!

-After class, me and this boy, who sits behind me ended up walking the same route. His name is Prince, no bullshit, and he's actually pretty amusing. I told him how I spend so much time in the Children's section of Library's and bookstores b/c of my Children's Lit. Class. He sort of, somehow, missed that last part and ask me if I had any kids. I said, "God, No! I can barely keep up with myself...I don't want kids...at least not now." He then wanted to know when will I want kids. I told him, "Not until I am done being a child, so when I am thirty or forty. But then it gets a little complicated because I've got to be careful not to have them too late or else they'll come out retarded...or I wont be able to have any at all" He sort of laughed and said he never really thought of it that way. He also said..."Well, you also have to be careful who you have sex with because it might be their fault the kids come out retarded." I had never thought of it that way...

-I saw Borat last night with Melissa. It was a strange movie, some parts were extremely funny but others not so much. Robert asked us what it was about since he was completely clueless. I told him, "It's like Laguna Beach but with foreigner's, you can't really tell if it's fake or real" He then asked if there was the character's spoke with accents, I told him they did. I don't think Robert will see Borat.

(Down with the Pupusa's)

The new kid on the block...

I'm finding it very difficult to keep up with school, going out, homework, studying, myspace, friends, family, life and this bloq! (Listed in order of priority)I'm praying I can get the hang of managing my time.

I've been seeing a lot of Melissa lately. I've known her for three years and we used to be inseparable but up until recently the only way I knew she was okay was from Erin.

Melissa has a friend from NY staying at her place. He was supposed to stay with his friend Eugene half the time but Eugene's roommate was a total bitch and said no. So, now he sort of, kind of, lives with Melissa. He's allergic to Meliss's cat just like me.

When Melissa isn't at school she is at work. When she isn't at work she is at school. On his vacation, Marcos stays all by himself in her apartment with Roxy. Because I only work on weekends and usually have a big gap between classes, I pick him up and take him places. At night Melissa takes care of Marcos and during the day I take him to run errands or to study. It's like we share custody. We also feed him, well at least I try to but he rarely lets me buy him food, he only let's Melissa buy him food. I guess that makes Melissa the mother and I am the dead beat dad who can't even get his estranged kid to eat.

Marcos is fun. He’s like the new kid you get to show off to and who knows less than you. He has funny names for things out here. He doesn’t think they are funny but I do. To kill time he walks places, I told him that he needs to get a car, in California you have to have a car. He said he first needs to learn how to drive on the Highway. I told him, “We don’t call them Highways we call them freeways! Highways are in Palm Springs.” For the rest of his stay he continued to call them highways. Marcos isn’t really good at being a Californian.

One day Marcos told me about his lonesome adventures in LB. He said he went to Tilly’s and wanted to buy a “Fedora”, He said he asked the lady to see the “Fedora”, of course the salesperson didn’t know what he was talking about (at that point neither did I). So he pointed at the Fedora. When she realized what he was pointing at, he asked her what they call this “Fedora” in LA. She said, “We call those pimp hats”. Marcos said that where he comes from Pimp hats have a feather. I told him in California we have two kinds of Pimps. Ones that wear the feather and other’s who don’t. The one's that wear the feather are international pimps.

I didn’t plan on picking up Marcos because I had errands to run. But I ended making him come along. I had five errands to run and only did one; we went to pay my car. Afterwards we decided to check out Venice beach since he’s never been. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I was wearing boots, jeans, a tank, and a long sleeve. It was actually a very gloomy day and it was cold. When we got to Venice we walked all the way up and down the boardwalk. We saw what most tourists see at Venice,Beach bums, homeless, struggling artists/ coke heads, tourists, and the other weirdo’s of LA.

Marcos likes weed. He wanted to stop at every bong and pipe store. He was like a kid in a toy store who wants to see what’s in every isle because he knows eventually they must go home. At first I was amazed at the craftsmanship and detail that people put into those pipes but after a while it just got old. Once you see three different pipe stores, you’ve seen them all. Marcos saw a weed mask, that looked just like a gas mask except it had a glass ball attached to the side of the mouthpiece. He was stocked because he said that in NY those were illegal. Apparently, some kids OD’d off of weed with one of those. He said he was going to come back and buy one and take it back. I was totally supportive of this. I asked him if he would be able to get it through security at the airports? He said that he had not thought that far and was now worried he might not get to be the only cool pot head in NY with the weed-gas-mask. I told him that he should take the mask with him in the airport, and say it’s a Halloween mask, and mail himself the ball.

Marcos began to complain about how hot he was and how he regretted wearing jeans. I told him I was still chilly and didn’t think it was as hot as he claimed it to be. He continued to carry on about the weather. We then went into a very scientific conversation where we both concluded that our bodies must be used to different kinds of weather since NY is always colder in the winter than LA. During our walk we saw this Asian girl with a jacket that had fake fur in the lining of the hood. When he saw her he said, “She must be from here”. I then told Marcos about one of the popular trends in LA that girls like during the winter. Long Sleeves, miniskirts, scarfs, and UGG boots and usually blonde hair.

Marcos claimed that the “guys out here don’t seem like they know how to fight.” I told him he’s never even been in a fight or seen a fight in LA. He said he could just tell from looking. Marcos is moving back in March, so if there are any guys out there who want to kick his ass and prove him wrong let me know.

Marcos came out here with 500 dollars to spend in a period of two weeks. He spent it all in four days. Because of his budget constraint we introduced him to the wonderful world of fast food…California style. Apparently, they don’t have Jack in the Box, Wienerschnitzel, or Del Taco in NY. We took him to Jack in the box. After ordering almost half the menu he ate his first breakfast jack. He almost came all over Melissa’s car. He loved it so much he ate it in three bites while making some inappropriate sounds. It was the funniest shit ever.

We all went to BJ’s for some beer and pizza. After taking a bunch of our crap the waiter asked us if we had a birthday in the party. We told him we did not. He said that it was too bad because he could have hooked it up with a free pazooki. So we all said that it was the new kids birthday. When he brought out the pazooki with the candle we told him happy birthday and waited for him to blow out the candle. He then said “Wait aren’t you going to sing the song”. I told him that in California we don’t sing that stupid song. He almost came all over when he ate the pazooki. Boys are easy. Breakfast jacks and pazooki’s.

We were on Hollywood Blvd. and I was on the phone with Sarah Morrison when I turn to see Marcos run into the middle of the street with some stranger. I yelled, “You can’t do that! I told you, you have to wait for the little man. This isn’t NY!!!” He then came back with his new friend and said, “Steve-O was in that car!” Marcos does not like to wait for the light to turn green or the little man to appear.

Marcos likes to throw trash on the floor. I was constantly picking it up and telling him, “In LA we don’t just throw trash on the floor because it goes to the water and there are fish there.” He must have thought I had a thing for the environment.

Marcos wants to buy a hummer when he moves to LA. I told him, “Only guys with complexion problems and small dicks drive Hummers; besides they are bad for the environment”

We took Marcos to Roscoes. Melissa and I recommended the Sunrise. He asked if that was a tequila sunrise. We informed him that it was not. He came all over when he ate there, too.

Marcos wanted to cook us a Puerto Rican style dinner. He made porckchops, rice with beans, and burnt bananas. At first I didn't know that the rice had beans because I didnt recognize them. I asked him what these beans were called. When he told me the name I thought he had said “Pigeon Poo”. I told him “I’m Mexican, I have eaten at least ten different kinds of beans but I have never eaten Pigeon Poo beans!” Melissa showed me the container of the Pigeon Poo beans and I told her that I have eaten those before but they didn’t look like the ones we had just eaten. The food was good.

I got sick but not from the food, from Mellisa's cat.

The after math of Cranberry and Svedka

Tuesday Night @ Cinespace...The best of the West and East came together...

They called it LA vs NY...And no it wasn't the dodgers vs. Those filthy Yanks playing...This Tuesday night two different teams represented...From NY- The Misshapes (and Jackson) and Oxy Cottaintail and from LA Steve Aoki & Them Jeans.


But before that... After dropping off some flowers for Erin who unconsciously made me feel bad for not hanging out with her in more than two weeks...Apparently, I've been a bad friend..(She's that one friend all girls have...The kind that you spend so much time with, fight with when you go out but call the next day to see if they want to hang out again...The best friend all girls have that the boyfriendf on occasion feels like you're having a lesbian affair with...That's her!)...Robert and I went to my house so I could finish getting ready...My brother immediately proceeded to show me his new toy...A gigantic yellow Crayola crayon. As I hurried to my room, I heard him mumble something about a make-out session but I was so wrapped up on getting ready that I zoned him out completely.

This is what I discovered the next day in my sisters digital camera.

And then this....

I told my mom she's not allowed to purchase anymore human-size toys for my brother...No questions asked.

After leaving my brother and his big yellow crayon, Robert and I headed to LA. We borrowed my sisters camera so on the way there he was very excited to see how well it took pictures.

He first took one of me...

Then he said, "Aww...You look so nice...Let me take one of me...Just so I'm sure it's you that looks nice and not just the camera making you look nice." This is how he looked...

He decided it just had to be us that looked good...So we took one together to inflate our ego.

We arrived kind of early...So after stopping by a Newspaper stand in Hollywood and reading some tabloids we decided to go back to the car to pick something up...I can't really remember what that something was, right now...Then to kill more time we walked to...

After searching for a particular LP for a good hot minute...Our ADD kicked in and we decided to leave...On the way out I pointed out this vintage Ramones shirt and Robert proceeded to tell me that the whole place smelled vintage. I silently agreed.

By the time we got to Cinespace a line had already formed...We ended up standing behind a group of people who were with a Michelle Branch look alike...After ten minutes my brain started playing tricks on me and I eventually started to believe that was really her. I kept trying to listen in on their conversation to see if anyone called her Michelle Branch but to no avail...I'm fairly sure she got the feeling I was staring intensely @ her so I made myself stop. {Once inside the club...We just had to know...So Robert went to ask her name...It was Maria...What a downer!}

In order to find a distraction from the Michelle Branch look alike...Robert and I decided to play with the camera a little bit more...

Here's me...Check out my rack...

Here's me and Robert...And behind us is a stranger who by the end of the night becomes our new bff...I want to say her name was Vanessa. (We're not that close)

Once inside we had forty-five minutes to get all the free drinks we could get our hands on...I'm not entirely sure but I think this was the first round...

Then the second....

A close up on my new favorite drink...

After the third or so round...I can't really recall taking these.

Check out my multi-tasking drunk skills!

Steve Aoki was the first to take the stage...Well in actuality it was Cottontail but i was too drunk to relize who she was.

Then the Yankees...I mean...The Misshapes...and Jackson rocked the house. Before they took the stage Mark the Cobrasnake (The guy with the big glasses and beard)...got a group photo shot of them with Nicole Richie's stocker, DJ AM. Who by the way isn't all that cute in person...(Dj Am, Steve, Dj. Geo, Dj. Loveleigh, Dj. Greg) Overall they were amazing...great Dj set from Jackson and Dj. Geo.

A couple days later...I come to find out that Joel Madden and Hillary Duff were also there...but of course I was too drunk to notice! I would have given her a piece of my mind and told her how I truly feel about her and how I think her sister is the better Duff!

See Robert's tight crotch pants.

http://www.thecobrasnake.com/partyphotos/danceparty/IMG_8014.html

See Robert dance with a (too-hot for him) stranger.

http://www.thecobrasnake.com/partyphotos/danceparty/IMG_8010.html

Pilgrims Progress

I conned my sister... into buying Lost Season 2. She paid for it, I unwrapped it, I watched them all. Between work and homework and Lost I’ve had....Ten hours of sleep and almost as many Starbucks Caramel Macchiato's. Due to the lack of sleep... I slept through an "important" work meeting this morning....Who schedules a meeting at seven in the morning on a God-ly day?!?! Cunts...

-I cheated and I lied. I flaked out on the girls this Thursday...and then again on Saturday. I told them I was doing some much needed homework with a study group in a remote location...I managed to get in 6 episodes on Thursday and 5 on Saturday...a lot was accomplished.

-It turns out a boy (not tall enough to be a man) I work with went to church school with another fat boy (too fat to be a man) i used to work with... When i asked work boy if he knew fat boy's best friend, he said "Yeah! How do you know him..." I said, "He knocked up my best friend" It's a small world.

-I took my brother to the book store. Usually, I study and he looks at the pictures in comic books...I realized the harm the harm I was doing to him and decided to play the good older sister role...so I told him he must return with readable material...He came back with one Curios George book, one Art book (with captions), and There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly. Damn those pre-teens!!!

(The jeans aren't going to wash themselves)

The Real Duff

Don't get me wrong...I'm an avid reader of the tabloids, love to discuss the celeb drama like i know them personally, but when I saw Material Girls this past Sunday I had one more reason to hate Hilarry Duff...

Here are my top 5 reasons (in order of importance)

1. She can't act
2. She can' sing
3. She's fake
4. People think she can do No. 1-2 and isn't No. 3
5. She was the discovered Duff and Not her sister Haley

Ten minutes into the movie I was pissed. Haley Duff, my favorite Duff, was ten times better at acting and 100 times better looking than her clueless little sister. What's wrong with Hollywood and America? Why do we constantly fall for people who have no talent and no personality? (i.e. Keeanu Reeves and all those sexually active kids on Degrassi)

(Hollywood and America-The Devils)

Bonjour Paris, Au revoir Fugly Rosettes

Sooner or later...


In the begining, I used to wait with anticipation for either Angela or Vincent to be sent home.Who in my opinion were the last two weakest links. However, show after show I found my self feeling sorry for Angela, Jeffrey was a total scum bag to her mother (for someone who speaks a lot about God he's got no morals), so my heart went out to the corky rosette lover. I'm begining to think Heidi is a nazi. It was royaly fucked up to send all 7 designers to Paris, take them on a temptatious car ride around the Paris, drop them off in this warehouse and then five minutes later send one home...by themselves!

I will admitt that i was a little giddy to know that Kane wasn't the one being sent home. That guy has a lot of talent...I can only hope he can bounce back from the slump he's been in.