The new kid on the block...

I'm finding it very difficult to keep up with school, going out, homework, studying, myspace, friends, family, life and this bloq! (Listed in order of priority)I'm praying I can get the hang of managing my time.

I've been seeing a lot of Melissa lately. I've known her for three years and we used to be inseparable but up until recently the only way I knew she was okay was from Erin.

Melissa has a friend from NY staying at her place. He was supposed to stay with his friend Eugene half the time but Eugene's roommate was a total bitch and said no. So, now he sort of, kind of, lives with Melissa. He's allergic to Meliss's cat just like me.

When Melissa isn't at school she is at work. When she isn't at work she is at school. On his vacation, Marcos stays all by himself in her apartment with Roxy. Because I only work on weekends and usually have a big gap between classes, I pick him up and take him places. At night Melissa takes care of Marcos and during the day I take him to run errands or to study. It's like we share custody. We also feed him, well at least I try to but he rarely lets me buy him food, he only let's Melissa buy him food. I guess that makes Melissa the mother and I am the dead beat dad who can't even get his estranged kid to eat.

Marcos is fun. He’s like the new kid you get to show off to and who knows less than you. He has funny names for things out here. He doesn’t think they are funny but I do. To kill time he walks places, I told him that he needs to get a car, in California you have to have a car. He said he first needs to learn how to drive on the Highway. I told him, “We don’t call them Highways we call them freeways! Highways are in Palm Springs.” For the rest of his stay he continued to call them highways. Marcos isn’t really good at being a Californian.

One day Marcos told me about his lonesome adventures in LB. He said he went to Tilly’s and wanted to buy a “Fedora”, He said he asked the lady to see the “Fedora”, of course the salesperson didn’t know what he was talking about (at that point neither did I). So he pointed at the Fedora. When she realized what he was pointing at, he asked her what they call this “Fedora” in LA. She said, “We call those pimp hats”. Marcos said that where he comes from Pimp hats have a feather. I told him in California we have two kinds of Pimps. Ones that wear the feather and other’s who don’t. The one's that wear the feather are international pimps.

I didn’t plan on picking up Marcos because I had errands to run. But I ended making him come along. I had five errands to run and only did one; we went to pay my car. Afterwards we decided to check out Venice beach since he’s never been. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I was wearing boots, jeans, a tank, and a long sleeve. It was actually a very gloomy day and it was cold. When we got to Venice we walked all the way up and down the boardwalk. We saw what most tourists see at Venice,Beach bums, homeless, struggling artists/ coke heads, tourists, and the other weirdo’s of LA.

Marcos likes weed. He wanted to stop at every bong and pipe store. He was like a kid in a toy store who wants to see what’s in every isle because he knows eventually they must go home. At first I was amazed at the craftsmanship and detail that people put into those pipes but after a while it just got old. Once you see three different pipe stores, you’ve seen them all. Marcos saw a weed mask, that looked just like a gas mask except it had a glass ball attached to the side of the mouthpiece. He was stocked because he said that in NY those were illegal. Apparently, some kids OD’d off of weed with one of those. He said he was going to come back and buy one and take it back. I was totally supportive of this. I asked him if he would be able to get it through security at the airports? He said that he had not thought that far and was now worried he might not get to be the only cool pot head in NY with the weed-gas-mask. I told him that he should take the mask with him in the airport, and say it’s a Halloween mask, and mail himself the ball.

Marcos began to complain about how hot he was and how he regretted wearing jeans. I told him I was still chilly and didn’t think it was as hot as he claimed it to be. He continued to carry on about the weather. We then went into a very scientific conversation where we both concluded that our bodies must be used to different kinds of weather since NY is always colder in the winter than LA. During our walk we saw this Asian girl with a jacket that had fake fur in the lining of the hood. When he saw her he said, “She must be from here”. I then told Marcos about one of the popular trends in LA that girls like during the winter. Long Sleeves, miniskirts, scarfs, and UGG boots and usually blonde hair.

Marcos claimed that the “guys out here don’t seem like they know how to fight.” I told him he’s never even been in a fight or seen a fight in LA. He said he could just tell from looking. Marcos is moving back in March, so if there are any guys out there who want to kick his ass and prove him wrong let me know.

Marcos came out here with 500 dollars to spend in a period of two weeks. He spent it all in four days. Because of his budget constraint we introduced him to the wonderful world of fast food…California style. Apparently, they don’t have Jack in the Box, Wienerschnitzel, or Del Taco in NY. We took him to Jack in the box. After ordering almost half the menu he ate his first breakfast jack. He almost came all over Melissa’s car. He loved it so much he ate it in three bites while making some inappropriate sounds. It was the funniest shit ever.

We all went to BJ’s for some beer and pizza. After taking a bunch of our crap the waiter asked us if we had a birthday in the party. We told him we did not. He said that it was too bad because he could have hooked it up with a free pazooki. So we all said that it was the new kids birthday. When he brought out the pazooki with the candle we told him happy birthday and waited for him to blow out the candle. He then said “Wait aren’t you going to sing the song”. I told him that in California we don’t sing that stupid song. He almost came all over when he ate the pazooki. Boys are easy. Breakfast jacks and pazooki’s.

We were on Hollywood Blvd. and I was on the phone with Sarah Morrison when I turn to see Marcos run into the middle of the street with some stranger. I yelled, “You can’t do that! I told you, you have to wait for the little man. This isn’t NY!!!” He then came back with his new friend and said, “Steve-O was in that car!” Marcos does not like to wait for the light to turn green or the little man to appear.

Marcos likes to throw trash on the floor. I was constantly picking it up and telling him, “In LA we don’t just throw trash on the floor because it goes to the water and there are fish there.” He must have thought I had a thing for the environment.

Marcos wants to buy a hummer when he moves to LA. I told him, “Only guys with complexion problems and small dicks drive Hummers; besides they are bad for the environment”

We took Marcos to Roscoes. Melissa and I recommended the Sunrise. He asked if that was a tequila sunrise. We informed him that it was not. He came all over when he ate there, too.

Marcos wanted to cook us a Puerto Rican style dinner. He made porckchops, rice with beans, and burnt bananas. At first I didn't know that the rice had beans because I didnt recognize them. I asked him what these beans were called. When he told me the name I thought he had said “Pigeon Poo”. I told him “I’m Mexican, I have eaten at least ten different kinds of beans but I have never eaten Pigeon Poo beans!” Melissa showed me the container of the Pigeon Poo beans and I told her that I have eaten those before but they didn’t look like the ones we had just eaten. The food was good.

I got sick but not from the food, from Mellisa's cat.